Do you need to Wallow?
Every now and again life gets too much and I just need to wallow.
When you work hard either in your job or on your business, try to manage a family and a household there are times when not everything is a bed of roses.
Issues come up, challenges and problems that in their infancy feel very raw and real, and like we wil never overcome them. Depending on your upbringing, or the people you surround yourself with, you may feel that there is a pressure to “pick yourself up” and “paint a smile on and keep going.”
These ideas themselves can often increase the stress you feel, because it makes your struggles and your emotions feel “less”. Almost like you don’t have a right to feel this way.
Well I am here to tell you that it’s time to stop pretending that everything is ok, just for a little while.
It’s very important that you allow yourself to process these thoughts and feelings, because continually pushing them deeper and deeper is very unhealthy. It never allows you to address the issue, and it starts to clutter your mind preventing you from finding a solution.
As surprised as I am to say this, there is an extremely relevant and inspiring scene in South Park of all things, that sums up these situations nicely:
I’ve had a few things that have come up in my life lately that have started to feel overwhelming, and just too much to handle, so here is what I do.
The Great Wallow
I find a day or time when I know that I can be alone. It can even be for a whole weekend if you can manage it. I cut myself off from the internet, put on my comfiest pajamas and grab the biggest jar of Nutella I can find. Then for the rest of my “Wallow” time, I just let myself feel. Sometimes I’ll watch a movie I know is quite trigger simply to help me cry.
Now I don’t mean a sniffle and solitary tear I can barely tell has fallen.
I mean I allow myself some time to have the most awful, ugly cry I can have.
A cry so ugly, Clare Danes would be proud!
But there are limits.
You have to set a limit to it, or the will be no clarity.
I say to myself “Ok, you get to wallow this weekend, but when you wake up on Monday it’s all over. It’s game on and you are going to kill it!!!!”
That sunday night is often the best sleep I ever have.
Waking up on that DAW (Day after wallowing) I feel lighter, I feel clearer and I feel empowered to tackle whatever issues caused the great wallow in the first place.
You have to allow yourself to FEEL your emotions, otherwise you will stop being able to recognise them, and will lose sight of who you are.
I’d love to know what you do during your “great wallow”. Do you have a favourite movie, or show you like to watch? If Nutella isn’t your thing, what is your go-to comfort food?
How to you prepare for your DAW?